Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
