Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
