listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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