I think my vagina is haunted
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
People in love make me want to vomit
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
