bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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