i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
