so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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