So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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