She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
