Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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