This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
