Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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