i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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