My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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