woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Four minutes until I can fart!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
