420 ftw
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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