I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
