i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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