She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
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My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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