why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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