i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
