when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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