All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
