I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
