ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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