3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
