I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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