if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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