I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
