PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
True strength comes from lack of pants
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
