Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
