I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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