Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
