I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
