Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
