And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize