i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
