I am puke
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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