of course. lets lasso hookers.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
