Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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