As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
