new low.... made out with someone while peeing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
