That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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