great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
