Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
