the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
