Ambien. No doubt about it.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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