I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
