After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
