last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
