No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
