dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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