umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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