So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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