no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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