he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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