i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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