Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
