i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
