making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
